Disappointment…

Discouragement…

Hurt…

All these emotions suddenly crept up on me yesterday and I knew it only meant one thing…

#ExpectationHangover

It completely caught me off guard because it’s been quite a while since I’d had one and I hadn’t even noticed expecting these particular things.

So, I had to confess.

I placed unrealistic expectations on some people super close to me. Bub, my friends, family…and I didn’t realize I even had these expectations until I started feeling all these feelings of disappointment, discouragement, and hurt. Crazy part is, these people had no idea they’d hurt me.

Listen…

We all do this at some point in our lives. Sometimes, more often than others. The thing is, we come from such a high expectation background, so it’s in our nature.

But here’s the reality: none of these people could have possibly known my wants or needs at this time without me communicating them.

#AmiRight?

We so often hold our loved ones accountable to living up to our expectations AKA expect them to read our minds and the only thing that comes of it is a hangover - disappointment, discouragement, hurt, etc.

Now the question is, HOW do we cure this hangover and work on avoiding it in the future?

Here’s what to do during a hangover:

First: identify and acknowledge the expectation exists.

• call it by its name and let it know you’re aware of it’s presence - trying to ignore it or suppress your feelings will only “fuel the fire” and that hangover will flourish into a sickness, eventually leading to resentment, guilt, or shame.

  
  

Second: express gratitude for what is true.

• now that you’ve identified the expectation and made yourself aware of it, remind yourself of all the good in your life and all the privileges you’ve had. Showing gratitude for what is true changes your energy and allows you to move through your hangover with ease.

Third: forgive.

• forgive those who disappointed who - whether that’s friends, family, a lover/partner…even yourself! You can’t possibly hold others accountable for your feelings if they’re unaware of your wants or needs in a particular circumstance. On the other hand, forgive yourself, if you’re the one doing the disappointing or feeling disappointed in yourself. It’s important not to make someone or something accountable for a prediction of an unknown outcome.

now, Here’s how to avoid an expectation hangover:

First, foster a beginners mindset. In every situation, every circumstance, every action, become curious, like you’re seeing it or experiencing it for the first time. When you allow yourself to see things like your seeing them for the first time, there’s new opportunity to gain a completely different experience and perspective.

Your next step is to focus on the process. Fixating on the outcome will only encourage expectations to arise. Stay present in each moment and enjoy what’s happening NOW, rather than worry about what will happen later.

Lastly, follow your intuition. Let your heart and your gut guide your decisions and choices in a given situation or circumstance. In other words, if you like something, keep doing it, if you don’t, get rid of it. It’s important not to overcomplicate things to avoid becoming overwhelmed and eventually put yourself in a position you don’t want to be in because your mind talked you into it.

I follow these rules daily, so I can avoid encountering hangovers like the one I had yesterday. So far, so good. I call these rules the “F” factors :P.

Catchy right?

Comment below and let me know if this resonated with you or if you’ve experienced this in your life!